Emotion Filled

 Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sometimes I feel an overwhelming sadness.  I don't know why...this just happens.

This sadness came upon me yesterday afternoon....carried through to the evening.  I didn't sleep well last night....couldn't go to sleep for quite a while....heard strange noises....up and down to investigate these noises....my outside motion sensor lights came on for no reason and stayed on for 15 minutes....back to bed....try to sleep....which finally came around 1 a.m.  Now, I am awake at 4 a.m., up for the day....and still the sadness.

It's okay...the sadness will lift. 

I know that sadness is an emotion...a true feeling....an emotion that God has created.  So, perhaps He has something in store for me today....something that will take the sadness from me.  This may be something simple...a bird, a flower, an encouraging word.

I have given the sadness to God, and I know--have faith--that He hears my cry.  Even if I don't truly understand the reason, God does, and He will care and tend to me. 


Thankful IN ALL Circumstances

 Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesday is here, and I am thankful for this day.....

I had to admit that I never truly understood these verses:

Rejoice always, pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.....1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I completely missed the picture of these verses.  In my mind, I would say:  "How?  How can I be thankful for a friend's diagnosis?  How can I be thankful for circumstances in my life that I felt were totally uncalled for...yes, downright unfair...not only to me, but to others.  How?"

And not only 'how', but "why"?  Why? Why? Why?

I confess.....I put these verses aside in my life....thinking that this was totally impossible.  I could not be thankful for cancer in those I love....I could not be thankful for losing my home with three young children and no place to go.....I could not be thankful for a friend's distress....

And the word "no" repeated itself in my heart and mind...over and over again.  "No, I will not be thankful for these." 

All of this...until I read these words:

As we name the gifts of God, our hearts are opened to God’s goodness and trustworthiness. And as we find him trustworthy, we can name his gifts not only in seasons of light but also in seasons of darkness—not only when we feel joyful but also when we feel distraught, or angry, or stressed, or exhausted. Because if we are in Christ, then all God has is ours and all is grace.

Ann Voskamp....One Thousand Gifts

With the reading of these words, I realized that I was missing the big picture and one tiny word in these verses....the word 'in'

Paul is not saying be thankful for our circumstances, but to be thankful in our circumstances.  And this makes all the difference. 

I don't need to thankful for 'things' that have happened or will happen in my life that I truly don't understand.  But, I do need to continue to thankful for God's blessings in my life. 

I think of Jesus with His disciples--their last time together--all gathered in one room...His  knowing what was going to occur--His arrest, the mocking, the crowds, the beatings and ultimately His own death through crucifixion....what does He do?

He gives thanks. 

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”...Matthew 26:26

So, today....I give thanks....not for circumstances....but in circumstances...for God's gifts...

I rest in the knowledge that regardless of the circumstances, He will carry me through.  And I will continue to be thankful for His gifts...the acknowledgement of His love for me...His blessings to me:

54.  Three adult children whose last words to me...whether leaving or disconnecting a phone call...are "I love you."  
55.  Coffee with cream on the deck every morning.

56.  The sun rising every morning and hiding every night.

57.  Lydia, who upon receiving a kiss upon her cheek, says, "More kisses, more kisses, more kisses".

58.  Water

59.  Slow healing

60.  Prayer

61.  Being 'chosen'

If you would like to join in or see others giving thanks for God's blessings upon them, just click either of the  buttons below.



 Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I have to tell you that I am a little frustrated...

I tried yesterday afternoon and again this morning to leave a few comments here and there....and I keep getting directed back to the sign in page when I am already signed in!!  So, I have not been able to visit any one, and this is a little frustrating...

Today, I wanted to share with you one of my favorite pictures:

This is my youngest daughter, Lindsay; my granddaughter, Lydia; and in the upper corner--there is what is commonly referred to as my "granddog", Nika.

Lindsay and Lydia were playing "Up-Down"...a simple game....where Lindsay and Lydia say "Down" and then stoop to the floor...then "Up", and they jump up.  This goes on and on and on until they are both laughing hysterically.  This picture is taken after exhaustion had set in--Lindsay kissing Lydia, Nika kissing Lindsay...and they are laying on Lindsay's kitchen floor. 

All of this attention focused on one small child from a young girl who before Lydia was born said, "I really don't like babies."  Shows how feelings can change.

At one time, there were 4 adults and Lydia playing "Up-Down" in my living room.  It's amazing to watch...Lydia will just walk up to one person and say "down" and stoop down, and then she will wait...in that stooped down position...until someone gets up to play.  She doesn't whine, she doesn't cry....she only does this once.

It's hard not to resist a child who just wants your attention and love.  And before I knew it, there were four adults and Lydia going up and down in the living room....something simple...yet so much fun and laughter....and it doesn't cost a dime.

And isn't this the way it is with our God?  He waits so patiently on us.  He wants us to communicate with Him.  He wants us to walk with Him, talk with Him, laugh with Him, cry with Him. 

He knows each and every thought we think, each word we utter...yet, sometimes, He is waiting for us to cry out to Him....to tell Him what is bothering us....what we in such a tizzy about....just what is on our minds that is distracting us from Him. 

Just like Lydia--in her stooped position, saying "down", humbly stooping before a person she wants to play with....shouldn't we stoop down, be humble before our Lord, and just cry out to Him exactly what the problem is? 

We are His children, His lambs that He tends and cares for.  Shouldn't we be paying more attention to Our Father who knows what is best for us?  Shouldn't it be hard for us to resist His attention--just as it is hard to resist Lydia seeking attention?  And yes, it doesn't cost us a dime--but it cost Him a great deal--the sacrifice of His Only Son--our Savior, Jesus--who died for each of us. 

Today, I pray that I am more aware of the Holy Spirit's leadings--for this day--moment by moment--as I go through my usual routine--and I pray that I am able to pay attention and obey.



Why The Unfinished Project

 Monday, June 27, 2011

And so I am back on Blogger.....

I find this much easier to use, able to add items easily...and a new beginning..."The Unfinished Project".

I have been ill for almost a month now...a time of pain, a time of change, a time of slowly healing.

My home also suffered from me not being able to do all that I usually do in a day's time.  As I was feeling better this past weekend, I decided to sort out some things in my 'craft room'.  I was amazed at all the 'unfinished projects' that I have going on in there!

  • An afghan that I started for myself over a year ago....almost finished...but not quite
  • A baby blanket for my cousin's daughter--started and put aside
  • A shawl for my youngest daughter--not even started--all the supplies just waiting for me
  • Yarn and various items that I bought on a whim...not yet touched
  • My biggest 'physical' unfinished project--my son's dresser
This dresser of my son's originally belonged to my grandmother's sister.  So, I suppose we could call this an antique.  I acquired this from my mother when my son was born--'a place to keep his clothing and things'--she said.  I have stated so many times that I am going to refinish this--bring it to its original beauty. 

When my son moved, I told him to leave the dresser because 'I am going to refinish it'.  He actually laughed and said, "I've been hearing that since I can remember."  And he has....so this is a 30 year unfinished project that will be started.

But, the main unfinished project is me.  We are all unfinished, unpolished, not the 'original beauty' that our Lord intended for us. 

Yesterday, I noticed that a hanging petunia basket on my deck that was once full and beautiful was starting to get 'leggy' and 'scraggly'.  It was still blooming, but the blooms were few and far between....mainly leaves and stems...not many flowers.

I took my scissors in hand, went back to the deck, and what did I do?  I cut each and every stem to about half its long, leggy length.  I have no flowers now...only leaves and stems.

This actually made me feel hurt...the pruning of my petunia....but I know in the long run that this hanging basket will be fuller and produce more flowers because of this pruning process.

This is where I am...in a pruning stage.  Yes, it hurts.  Yes, it is painful.  Yes, I must rid myself of some things, some thoughts, some actions.

But, I will be more productive for the Lord, yield more fruit in my life for Him, cling more closely to Him during this time, and end up on the right side of all of this. 

Will I be finished?  No, I will always be 'unfinished'....always in the stages of growing and pruning....and I will be a finished project when I see Him 'face to face'......restored to the original beauty that He intended for us from the beginning of time.

Hopefully, this will be an encouragement to you...particularly if you yourself are in a pruning stage. 

On this blog, you will see my own journey through the 'finishing stages', as well as the many projects I have around my own home that will be in process.....with some family stories thrown in just for fun.

Have a wonderful day in Him,