I Am A Lamb

I have always had trust issues in my life....starting from when I was very young.  Trust....how do I trust someone who has hurt me?  How do I trust that this will not happen to me again?  How do I know that the person is telling me the truth when there have been so many lies?  Questioning....always questioning...is this the truth? 

Before I knew it, the mistrust of one or two...even three or more people....extends itself into the mistrust of everyone.  And then I find myself living a life of solitariness, anxiousness, worrying, confusion, panic attacks.....afraid to trust because of past hurts. 

And God began the healing process....

Learning to trust God was not an overnight miracle for me.  This was a series of answered prayers....me understanding that this truly was God in control (not me).  Hearing God's whispers to me...accepting God's truth into my life....His faithful promises spoken to me....His love and care for me....He is the Good Shepherd and I am His lamb....The Sheperd cares for His lamb....the lamb knows His voice and follows....allowing His goodness and protection to overflow.....because the lamb trusts the Shepherd. 

In my counting of God's gifts to me, this trust grows and flourishes.  I sense God's presence more acutely in my life through these gifts--I hear God speaking to me as I look and see...hear...smell...taste...feel...

As the list grows, my trust increases, my joy overflows to others, peace and love are always present in my heart and mind.

62.  Four kids in a bright orange paddle boat...going around in circles....laughing

63.  The smell of honeysuckle

64.  Soft breezes rustling leaves

65.  Lydia saying "love you"

66.  "I was thinking of you"

67.  Shoes tapping on hardwood floors

68.  Soft cotton between my fingertips

69.  Iced tea

70.  "I will never forsake you"

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."....Psalm 91:1-2

There are hundreds and hundreds counting their gifts from God.  To view those who are sharing their blessings, just click below.  Amazing....

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Thankful IN ALL Circumstances

Wednesday is here, and I am thankful for this day.....

I had to admit that I never truly understood these verses:

Rejoice always, pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.....1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I completely missed the picture of these verses.  In my mind, I would say:  "How?  How can I be thankful for a friend's diagnosis?  How can I be thankful for circumstances in my life that I felt were totally uncalled for...yes, downright unfair...not only to me, but to others.  How?"

And not only 'how', but "why"?  Why? Why? Why?

I confess.....I put these verses aside in my life....thinking that this was totally impossible.  I could not be thankful for cancer in those I love....I could not be thankful for losing my home with three young children and no place to go.....I could not be thankful for a friend's distress....

And the word "no" repeated itself in my heart and mind...over and over again.  "No, I will not be thankful for these." 

All of this...until I read these words:

As we name the gifts of God, our hearts are opened to God’s goodness and trustworthiness. And as we find him trustworthy, we can name his gifts not only in seasons of light but also in seasons of darkness—not only when we feel joyful but also when we feel distraught, or angry, or stressed, or exhausted. Because if we are in Christ, then all God has is ours and all is grace.

Ann Voskamp....One Thousand Gifts

With the reading of these words, I realized that I was missing the big picture and one tiny word in these verses....the word 'in'. 

Paul is not saying be thankful for our circumstances, but to be thankful in our circumstances.  And this makes all the difference. 

I don't need to thankful for 'things' that have happened or will happen in my life that I truly don't understand.  But, I do need to continue to thankful for God's blessings in my life. 

I think of Jesus with His disciples--their last time together--all gathered in one room...His  knowing what was going to occur--His arrest, the mocking, the crowds, the beatings and ultimately His own death through crucifixion....what does He do?

He gives thanks. 

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”...Matthew 26:26

So, today....I give thanks....not for circumstances....but in circumstances...for God's gifts...

I rest in the knowledge that regardless of the circumstances, He will carry me through.  And I will continue to be thankful for His gifts...the acknowledgement of His love for me...His blessings to me:

54.  Three adult children whose last words to me...whether leaving or disconnecting a phone call...are "I love you."  
 
55.  Coffee with cream on the deck every morning.

56.  The sun rising every morning and hiding every night.

57.  Lydia, who upon receiving a kiss upon her cheek, says, "More kisses, more kisses, more kisses".

58.  Water

59.  Slow healing

60.  Prayer

61.  Being 'chosen'

  
If you would like to join in or see others giving thanks for God's blessings upon them, just click either of the  buttons below.

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